There's this one proverb Blaze always pulls out. How did it go againββ?
Eunectes
The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.
Gavial
That's the one.
High Priest
I have a conjecture. You rainforest folk have the terrible misfortune of living in that dump, so you've been compensated with extremely good luck in other areas.
High Priest
What other explanation is there for why the lot of you haven't gone extinct yet? It doesn't make any sense.
Gavial
It proves our way of life is good for keeping us alive.
Eunectes
High Priest, what are Durin cities like?
High Priest
Uhh, I don't remember. A little too boring to talk about.
High Priest
I spent some time in the underground world a century or so ago and the only thing I can remember is that it was a nasty place chock-full of imbeciles.
High Priest
Less interesting than watching Originium slugs sleep by the river.
High Priest
Though, heh, you young kids ought to experience things on your own. You need to have the kind of drive and ambition that I did!
High Priest
By the way, turn left at the next junction, and DON'T jump down!
Eunectes
How much longer now, High Priest?
High Priest
Good question. There's no end to the road called life. No matter how far you've come, you can only keep moving forwardβ plus, there's a geezer like me watching over you.
High Priest
Oh, if you meant how far we are from the city, if you could drop right through the rocks like I can, you need to go down another five or six hundred meters.
Gavial
Zumama, how the hell did you put up with this guy up so long? He won't shut up.
This waterpark already looked pretty insane from the distance, but it's even more incredible up-close!
Inam
Is this how Durins live all the time?!
Elysium
Cowabunga!!
Inam
When did he change into a swimsuit?
Tomimi
E-Elysium, please be careful!
Elysium
Woah, that was a close one! Are you alright? Didn't spill your drink, did you?
Durin Youth
Well... that's weird. How'd you surface-dwellers end up down here? Never seen you people around before.
Durin Youth
And this guy looks about as stupid as a Durin.
Inam
Hello, sir. We were invited here by Stitch Canvas.
Tomimi
He said, uh, he wanted us to help him with a little favor!
Durin Youth
Stitch Canvas, huh... Would you look at that, he actually came back.
Durin Youth
I thought he was going to say goodbye to this city for good, just like that respectable teacher of his.
Durin Youth
As much as I'd like to offer you our famous Durin hospitality, welcoming folk that we are, I sadly can't while Stitch is running around causing havoc and ignoring all our ways.
Durin Youth
Let me introduce myself first. I am Catch Lightrace, this city's design representative.
Catch Lightrace
No need to be nervous. It'll be over in no time.
Inam
What... is the meaning of this?
Elysium
Hmm? Did the atmosphere just get a little weird all of a sudden? I can't handle all these people trying to toast me at the same time.
Tomimi
Are you guys...?
Tomimi
Trying to pick a fight?! I'm not afraid of you shorties!
Tomimi
You're gonna get a taste of the combat skills Gavial taught me! Phew... Take a sturdy stance, and put your hips into it!
Tomimi
Come at me!
Flustered Durin
Wh-What is she doing?! Is she gonna clobber us with her stick?
Nervous Durin
Gyaaaah! Stay away from me!
Catch Lightrace
Hey, hey! What are you people doing?! Stop! Stop, I tell you!!
Ahem! Citizens of Zeruertza, this is this quarter's four hundred and seventeenth referendum.
Catch Lightrace
Following our previous vote on this month's general background music, we decided on the color of our street lights for the week during the last referendum. Now, we must answer a new question.
Catch Lightrace
Since this question isn't particularly important, the individuals here today are enough of a quorum to represent Zeruertza.
Catch Lightrace
Today's question is: Zeruertza has just welcomed new guests. Should we accept them or not?
Topsy-Turvy Durin
......
Topsy-Turvy Durin
What guests?
Topsy-Turvy Durin
I heard something about a guy who doesn't drink?
Catch Lightrace
Ah, no, it's these ones standing right in front of us.
Topsy-Turvy Durin
Cheers, brother! Isn't it crazy that there's a Durin out there who doesn't drink?
Elysium
Yeah, that's totally crazy. Cheers!
Topsy-Turvy Durin
Let's finish chugging this barrel, then we can go play in the water.
Elysium
Hah, make sure to keep those eyelids peeled! You have to see what us surface-dwellers can do!
Inam
Tomimi, sorry if I sound like a broken record, but are you sure everything's alright at Rhodes Island?
Tomimi
Uh, p-probably?
Inam
You're always welcome to come back if things aren't working out. Be carefulβ don't underestimate the amount of damage a bad environment can do to you!
Topsy-Turvy Durin
Hurry it up, Catch! We've got a lot of stuff to take care of!
Topsy-Turvy Durin
Brother, have you ever heard of a sport called surfing?
Elysium
Surfing, you say? That might as well be my middle name!
???
Objection!
???
This guy can't be trusted!
Inam
Ah, yeah. I knew things weren't going to be that simple...
Absent-Minded Durin
Hey you, drunk Liberi over there!
Elysium
Inam, they must be talking to you, because I certainly amn't drunk. Not a bit.
Absent-Minded Durin
I AM talking to you, guy with the stein!
Elysium
Alright. Whaddya want?
Wobbly Durin
You'd better come out and pick a side: noble mead, or lame-ass whiskey!
Absent-Minded Durin
We of the Old Karl Mead fan club graciously welcomed you into our fold, and now you're hanging out with those hoity-toity whiskey-sippers? My disappointment is immeasurable!
Wobbly Durin
Not too long ago, we had our arms over each other's shoulders, shouting 'Long Live Mead' together. But I turn around for a second and you go off to play with those uppity kids?
Elysium
Err, um, I think they're both great...
Absent-Minded Durin
Oh no you don't! We don't take kindly to fence-sitters around here!
Topsy-Turvy Durin
Haha, you're a joke. You can't know what's good and what's bad without a point of reference. Isn't that right, brother?
Topsy-Turvy Durin
There's nothing to be afraid of. Speak your mind, and let the words of praise flow for our great whiskey. That is, if you want to stay in Zeruertzaββ
Wobbly Durin
Hey, stop threatening him, you despicable whiskey-sipper!
Topsy-Turvy Durin
Gah. Your mead's baby stuff! Might as well drink it out of a bottle!
Absent-Minded Durin
Let's throw down in front of the Big Cask tonight then! Walk the walk if you talk the talk!
Topsy-Turvy Durin
Hah, you wanna see who can chug more of your baby brew? You have my attention!
Catch Lightrace
Wait, stop right there! The referenda we hold here in the forum are sacred! Talk about drinking somewhere elseββ
Catch Lightrace
Raise your hand, and let your vote be known. The minority obeys the will of the majorityβ that is the eternal lodestar of Zeruertza.
The votes have been counted, and the results are clear.
Catch Lightrace
The people of Zeruertza have made their decision: play to your hearts' content, surface-dwellers.
Durin Attendees
Cheers!!
Catch Lightrace
By the way, I welcome you as an architect. That gorgeous edifice sitting atop the lake is my pride and joy. You are welcome to play your hearts out beneath it.
Inam
You're talking about that 'Great Aquapit' over there?
Catch Lightrace
I didn't come up with the name. It was something we all voted on!
Did they tack more stuff onto the 'Great Aquapit?' It looks even more hideous than the last time I saw it.
Edge Eartheart
That's Catch's masterpiece, you know? You really shouldn't badmouth it in front of him.
Stitch Canvas
He's not worthy of my constructive criticism anyway. Or rather, there's no way to fix it in the first place!
Stitch Canvas
That malformed, twisted structure... Just looking at it makes me want to pass out! How can the people of Zeruertza continue to suffer him as the design representative?
Edge Eartheart
Probably because folks really love playing on the big slide.
You still don't know me well enough, Edge. I'd just put a long, narrow strip of concrete there. Minimalism is beauty.
Edge Eartheart
Huh? What about the slide then?
Stitch Canvas
I suppose there wouldn't be any harm in slanting it a little...
Edge Eartheart
Ahem, back to the issue at hand.
Edge Eartheart
There don't seem to be any major issues with the dome right now, but I'm still worried.
Stitch Canvas
Since the earthquake over six months ago, the leak that sprung in the dome has been getting worse and worse. Is that your idea of no major issues?
Edge Eartheart
I'm just telling you what the people of Zeruertza think. The water flow increased? Makes for a more stimulating experience. The temperature control stopped working? Even better, that just means the summer's not over yet!
Edge Eartheart
As for the Originium detection system... Well, no active Originium layers have been detected near Zeruertza for over two decades!
Stitch Canvas
Hmph. A short-sighted bunch.
Edge Eartheart
So, you...
Stitch Canvas
I'm not fixing it. What's worth saving about this cheap, rickety dome? I've said it a million times.
Edge Eartheart
Were you not looking for a solution when you first went up to the surface? Were you not thinking about ways to restore the dome?
Stitch Canvas
Absolutely not. I was just trying to hide from you because you won't shut up.
Edge Eartheart
Now that's a little harsh, isn't it? Just a few months ago, I was voted into the Top 100 List of Zeruertza's Nicest Elders.
Stitch Canvas
Alright, enough of that. I know you're concerned about the state of the dome.
Stitch Canvas
But if Catch can't even solve the issue with the dome's integrity, then forget occupying the design representative's seat, he should get the hell out of Zeruertza.
Stitch Canvas
If we're just talking outcomes, there shouldn't be any safety concerns regarding the dome at this point.
Stitch Canvas
We can leave the temperature control system alone, since our beloved citizens are having a good time anyway. After they get tired of it, maybe they'll raise their hands and decide to turn Zeruertza into a walk-in freezer.
Stitch Canvas
As for that Originium detection system, if you ask me, it was never that reliable to begin with. But since you've been chasing me around everywhere, I assume that's what you're most worried about? I do have a plan for that actually.
Stitch Canvas
It'd be better for us to rebuild the railway bridge that was damaged by the earthquake, re-excavate the collapsed tunnels, and directly install the Originium detection instruments there for more accurate readings.
Stitch Canvas
From the very beginning, the dome was over-engineered to try to do too many things at once.
Edge Eartheart
You'd rather take a massive detour like that than directly work on the dome? Look, even if Finch up and left without saying anything, that's still your work together, master and pupil...
Stitch Canvas
We're done here, okay?
Stitch Canvas
Stop before I actually get mad, Edge.
Edge Eartheart
...Fine.
Edge Eartheart
Right now, the problem of Originium detection takes top priority.
Stitch Canvas
I picked up a few people up on the surface who will probably come in handy. Their hodgepodge of skills is likely enough to repair Zeruertza's railway.
Stitch Canvas
Now, we only need to...
Edge Eartheart
Pardon the interruption, but are those handy people from the surface you're talking about...
When you, Zumama, and Kemar first joined Rhodes Island, I didn't think much of it. But now that I've seen this guy...
Inam
Be honest with me, Tomimi. Is it really that easy to swindle a paycheck out of your company?
Tomimi
Elysium is actually a skilled guide and a communications specialist...
Tomimi
Well, anyway! Maybe this is who he really is!
Durin Hawker
Here's the sweet fruit wine you wanted~
Tomimi
Thank you!
Inam
Uhh, how should I pay? Or rather, how'd you buy all that other stuff before?
Tomimi
I told the nice tailor granny a few stories about Gavial, and she was so happy she gave me these clothes for free!
Elysium
As for me... The drinks were covered by my good friends from the fan club, and I put the food on Stitch's tab.
Inam
I guess you'll probably survive, no matter where you get tossed.
Elysium
That's one of the qualities of a professional guide!
Inam
Ma'am, go ahead and put our drinks on Mr. Stitch's tab as well. He won't mind.
Durin Hawker
You got it!
Catch Lightrace
Haha, that guy's stingier than you'd think. Here, let me pay for those drinks.
Catch Lightrace
I am quite proud of this amusement park after all. Naturally, I hope you'll have a great time.
Tomimi
Mr. Lightrace, do you and Mr. Canvas know each other well?
Catch Lightrace
Depends what you mean by 'well.'
Catch Lightrace
When we were young, we ran into each other a lot, since we were competing. We've gone head-to-head over several projects, some of which I won, some of which he won.
Catch Lightrace
The only project neither one of us could secure was this dome above our heads.
Catch Lightrace
We both have ideas for how we'd like to improve Zeruertza's iconic dome, and for a few years, we practically met every dayββ
Catch Lightrace
During the referendum meetings, we both worked hard to prove that our respective ideas for the dome renovation were better.
Catch Lightrace
But in the end, neither of us managed to win over a majority of Zeruertza's population.
Catch Lightrace
After all, the dome is the legacy of Master Finch, the design representative who came before me.
Catch Lightrace
And Stitch, as his student, is also...
Catch Lightrace
Forget it. There are some things I'm not meant to say. You'd be better off asking him yourself.
Elysium
Catch, my dear bro, why is someone as young as you talking like a withered old man? 'When we were young?' Come on.
Elysium
Just follow Elysium's lead. Keep your heart pure, and face life with a smile! Instead of lamenting days bygone, come enjoy a drink with usββ
Durin Hawker
Liberi man, your extra-large barrel of ice-cold beat-the-heat ale is here!
Elysium
Help yourselves, everyone! Our good friend Catch wants us to have a good time, so how could we possibly disappoint his expectations?
Elysium
So, my good brother, mind if I order some more? The folks from the fan club aren't paying for other drinks, and there's still so much I want to try.
'How should I describe the feeling of this long-leaf dew rolling down my throat? How ought I praise it without using words so pedestrian?'
Contemplative Lupo
'Tis as if I could swallow a cloud, or pluck a string of spring rain's pearls.'
Contemplative Lupo
'Tis as if I could feel the falling of winter's last two snowflakes...'
Contemplative Lupo
Uhh, they probably have no idea what falling snowflakes are, so maybe I'll go with a more Durin metaphor.
Contemplative Lupo
'Two super-frosty fruit-flavored ice cubes fall into a marvelous explosion of flavorββ'
Gavial
Ugh, that hurtsββ
Gavial
The High Priest was right, we really shouldn't have jumped down.
Eunectes
It's been a real long time since I've felt like my bones were gonna fall apart. Probably the last time we fought.
Gavial
Yeah. Now I think I'm starting to hallucinate. About fruit-flavored ice cubes and rum. Think it might be an aftereffect of our fall?
Gavial
Huh? Why's there a Lupo sleeping here?
Eunectes
Do you think... this might be our fault?
Gavial
Probably not... right? Uhh, think I should treat her?
Eunectes
Did you bring your medical kit?
Gavial
Dr. Kal'tsit once said that a true master of medicine can resolve most problems with her bare hands.
Eunectes
Did she now?
Gavial
Well, I don't remember her exact words, but that's the gist I took from it. Alright, where to start...?
Lupo
*gasp*!
Gavial
Oh, she's awake. I haven't even gotten started yet.
Eunectes
Um... Are you alright?
Lupo
Ugh, my head's still spinning...
Gavial
Sorry, I think the two of us might've bumped into you earlier. Need me to inspect you?
Lupo
What are you doing here?
Gavial
Come again...?
Lupo
How did you two find this place?
Gavial
Mind if we ask for directions? Do you know if there's a magical underground city here, or something like that?
Lupo
You came from the surface.
Gavial
Weird thing to say. You didn't?
Eunectes
We heard something terrible was about to happen underground, so...
Lupo
You've finally come, surface-dwellers.
Lupo
'Naturally, those who come with chainsaw and axe in hand can only spell calamity for this pure garden.'
Lupo
...... 'The beast of civilization finally sheds all pretense of hiding its razor-sharp fangs, baring its gigantic maw before us...'
Gavial
I see, that makes sense. A wild beast with a huge mouth and razor-sharp teeth. Don't worry, I'll handle this.
Lupo
Huh? No, that was a rhetorical flourish...
Gavial
As long as the thing's less than ten meters wide, I'm confident I can take it down clean. Perfect timing too, since I've been itching to get a good workout!
Eunectes
Mind showing us the way, Miss Lupo? Is it over here?
Gavial
Maybe it'll be faster if we keep jumping down.
Lupo
Stop, surface-dwellers! The blood on you will...
Gavial
Don't worry. I know how to control my strength so it's not going to splatter all over the place.
Gavial
Zumama, ready for round two?
Eunectes
Right behind you.
Gavial
Hold on tight, Miss Lupo.
Eunectes
You can trust Gavial. She's an expert when it comes to fighting.