Closure lent me this device for the purposes of... Well, the application says 'recording self-diagnosis and treatment of trauma using exposure therapy and related methods.'
Istina
A mouthful indeed.
Istina
It is a very simple machine to operate. I just check that the battery is charged, toggle this switch... And now it will record automatically.
Istina
Phew...
Istina
(Talking to yourself is so difficult.)
Istina
(I honestly thought it would be easier to just open up to a screen.)
Istina
When I asked about alleviating or at least controlling my symptoms, the medical staff suggested this...
Istina
'Why not try talking it through with yourself...?' They made it sound so easy.
Istina
Okay, we have video now. Not that I'll be showing this to anyone. Not that I would ever want to show this to anyone.
Istina
Calm down, Istina. No need to be nervous. We're all friends here. Just speak your mind. Let it out.
Istina
All those things you've been unable to share with others, you can say to yourself. Over and over again.
Istina
It's certainly a feasible idea.
Istina
So let's take us back...
Istina
While it may seem like there's nothing wrong, I know, sooner or later, we will have to deal with this. With so much.
Istina
I know that Gummy and Natalya can never forget those things. What happened in the school... what happened after we left the school... No one could forget.
Istina
And Zima, she... I think she has been having nightmares recently. Leto seems like she was able to let it go, but... can someone ever truly let it go?
Istina
As for me? I believe I can face up to it. But can I, actually...?
Istina
No one will speak of it. But somehow we will have to come to terms with it, in the end.
Istina
......
Istina
...Still hard.
Istina
Phew... all right. I do think I am starting to get used to it though.
Istina
Let's begin, for real this time.
Istina
I suppose I'll introduce myself first?
Istina
(Deep breath)
Istina
I am called 'Istina'ββThis is, of course, a codename. My true name is Anna Morozova.
Istina
Mmm. It's a name I've not heard in a long time. It is my name, of course, but it feels somewhat unfamiliar. How strange.
Istina
This is Vika. A good friend of mine.
Istina
Vika was my best friend before I joined the Student Self-Governing Group.
Istina
Now I live at the headquarters of an organization called Rhodes Island, where I am classified as part of the 'Ursus Student Self-government Group.'
Istina
Mm. This group was my idea, but it was Zima who truly founded it. And while we are indeed independent, at the moment there are only five of us.
Istina
Zima, Natalya, Leto, Gummy, and myself.
Istina
There used to be more. But we are the only ones left.
Istina
Ah, of course, Vika is also a member.
Istina
We currently serve as 'Operators' for this Rhodes Island... I suppose it's a kind of job.
Istina
I don't mind it. Fair pay for fair work.
Istina
Zima has no plans to leave, for the time being. And although she does not speak her mind, I know she is satisfied here. And from time to time, I find myself thinking it would be nice to stay.
Istina
...Phew.
Istina
The truth is, while we're all together now, we did not come from the same school.
Istina
Gummy, Natalya, and I attended the same high school. Zima and Leto went to another one.
Istina
Oh, but Zima was sort of famous, even at our school. In fact, every student in the district knew about her.
Istina
I suppose she is something of a born leader. I recognize that she was the right choice to lead us.
Istina
Reunion found us defenseless and occupied Chernobog, our city.
Istina
Then some... things... happened. Reunion took a handful of kids from our school, me among them, and marched us over to Zima's campus.
Istina
There may have been students from other schools there too. I'm not certain. It was a chaotic time.
Istina
It's still not clear why they did it. But it was all orchestrated by the white-haired boy leading that Reunion outfit.
Istina
I think he may have been even younger than us? I don't know.
Istina
I got the impression he had to convince the other leaders to round up the students, at which point they locked us inside Zima's school.
Istina
Looking back now, it all seems ridiculous.
Istina
We were locked in there for maybe two weeks, and...
Ah, this book! Isn't it the last volume of the detective series I've been reading?
Istina
Hm? Oh, that one. Yes, you have a good eye.
Istina
This is the most precious title in the series. The final act in the story of the world's greatest detective... Hmph, I had to beg the Doctor over and over again to help me hunt it down.
May
Oh, that reminds me... Back in the old country, I saw what I'm pretty sure was a signed copy of the first edition on the bookshelf at home.
May
Oh the memories. I cried my eyes out the first time I read it!
Istina
Eh?
Istina
Autographed... and a first edition at that...?
Natalya
Oh, what rotten luck.
Natalya
I remember Sonya saying Anna moved mountains to try to get any signed copy of that author's work. And she's still empty-handed.
Natalya
They're just too rare.
May
(Uh oh. It was that special, was it? There's too much old stuff like that back home. I never noticed!)
May
Um, err, anyway, Istina. Could you, uh, lend me this book?
Istina
......
Istina
...I can. But didn't you say you'd read it before?
Istina
(Grumbling) A first edition. Signed. Copy?
May
Oh, well... I did, but it's been so long, you see. It's about time for a reread.
May
It- it's really quite something that you've got a book like this here. Hahaha, you can read it anytime you like!
Istina
Hm.
Istina
When you put it that way, I suppose I ought to lend it to you. For now.
May
Oh, Istina, that's marvelous! You're the greatest!
May
(Phew... No problem there then.)
Istina
Hmph.
Istina
(Grumbling) You could stand to be a little more aware of the feelings of others.
Istina
(Quietly) But nevertheless... thanks.
May
Did you say something?
May
Oh, these biscuits are to die for. You really won't have one, Istina?
Istina
I didn't say anything.
Istina
They're just normal biscuits, are they? I could have a taste...
But I didn't expect to see you and Natalya together. How do you know one another?
May
Oh, I wouldn't say we know each other that well. Natalya just happened to lend a hand when I was covertly investigating Penguin Logistics.
Natalya
Glad I could help.
Istina
You talk about investigating Penguin Logistics quite a bit. Still haven't given up on that, eh?
May
I'll never give up! I've staked my reputation as a Royal Detectiveββ
Istina
Personally, I think you've long since forfeited your reputation as a Royal Detective.
May
Why you...! Hmph. I've had just about enough of you!
May
The point is, we only happened to bump into each other on the way here.
May
What's more, the last book I borrowed from you was absolutely riveting. I just had to come talk about it as soon as I turned the last page!
Istina
Well, that's not entirely off the table...
Istina
It's been a while since I had a good talk about detective novels. And the plot in that one is indeed one of my favorites. 'Riveting,' you said?
May
I most certainly did! How does one even come up with such a twisty plot? Ooh, I swear my hair stood on ends as I read the final reveal!
Istina
I'm sure. It's a perfect cocktail of literary creativity and logical deduction that jabs the reader right in the psyche. Easily my favorite one in the series.
May
OhββI see. It's so clear to me!
May
It was written in the first person, so... The murderer was actually the protagββmmffst. Mmffmm?!
Istina
Fool! You can't just spoil the whole thing! Natalya hasn't read it yet!
May
Mmmmmpf!
May
PfahββHaah! You almost killed me...
May
Nnng! I bit my tongue. That hurt. I understand not wanting spoilers, but that was way out of line, Istina!
Natalya
Interesting. You really like your detective novels, eh, Anna? I don't usually see you so excited to talk about something.
Istina
Oh? R- really?
Natalya
Really. In fact, I think you'll have to let me read one too. Since they're clearly so compelling.
Istina
You want to read too, Natalya? I never would have imagined. Every time I asked you before, you'd say the same thing: 'When I have time.'
Natalya
Huh. Is that right...?
Natalya
But when I see the two of you crowing on about these books, I can't help but want to join in.
Istina
All right then. The more the merrier.
May
There really aren't many people here who can hold a conversation about great art... The Doctor reads, but finding time for a conversation is no simple task.
Natalya
The Doctor... Ah, you mean that one commander.
May
I see you're familiar, Natalya?
Natalya
I am. That one is quite a unique presence on this vessel. And I've had the pleasure of bearing witness to that particular commander's field operations.
May
It's too bad. There's some special meeting or some-such on today. I wanted to give the Doctor a biscuit.
Istina
Don't worry, I'm sure Hibiscus will make sure the Doctor gets a share.
Natalya
Yes. Dr. Kal'tsit keeps a close eye, but it's clear that everyone is just as concerned about the Doctor.
Natalya
The medical staff, in particular. I went for a test recently and overheard several medics discussing adjustments to the Doctor's diet... I believe the confiscation of snacks was mentioned?
May
Hahahaha. That's a fairly reasonable step, no?
Istina
Gummy was moaning about that too. Honestly, what does that one eat every day?
Istina
Also, what was that about a 'test,' Natalya?
Natalya
Oh, I would appreciate some discretion in this matter. I haven't made up my mind yet, but... it is why I came here today.
Natalya
However...
Natalya
Now's not the time, actually. Let's come back to it another day.
Natalya
You'll know soon, Anna. In all likelihood.
Istina
Oh?
Istina
All right then. I won't pry.
Istina
Ahem, let's get back to the matter at hand. Why don't we start Natalya off with the classics?
Natalya
Oh, is that the matter at hand then?
May
Hehe, it's an excellent opportunity to introduce a friend to your beloved hobby.
Istina
I wouldn't let this go so easily.
Natalya
Ooh... you're positively oozing passion right now.
Istina
But of course!
Istina
Don't underestimate the power of the detective novel. No matter the type, a masterwork carries a living soul within it.
Natalya
Heh heh. That's an Annaism if I've ever heard one. But that doesn't make it any less true.
Istina
Reasoning out the plot of a novel is part of the fun, but the true draw of the detective genre goes much deeper.
May
Istina speaks the truth, but I have to say my favorite part is always when the detective unmasks the true culprit.
May
And if we're talking classics, we of course have to talk about 'that one,' eh?
Istina
'That one?' Do you mean...?
May
'That one!' Yes!
May
Ahem.
May
'One truth prevails! The murderer isββYou!'
Natalya
Oh, I know that one. It's a detective's catchphrase.
May
Righto. No matter how many times I hear it, it still gets my heart racing!
Istina
Indeed.
Istina
But in my opinion, it's after the culprit is found that the real thinking, the real interesting bit begins.
May
What do you mean?
Istina
Allow me to answer your question with another question, May. Upon cornering the criminal, and after arriving at the truth, what is it the detective should do?
Istina
Should she announce the truth to everyone, securing a conviction?
Istina
Even when the truth is clear, the law may from time to time be an ineffective remedy. What then, can she do?
Istina
Does she allow this criminal to get away with his crimes? Or does she take the law into her own hands?
Natalya
Such things happen in the real world too. With no simple solution.
Natalya
If I were her...
May
...Hmm.
May
Did you just want to drop that one on us?
May
What are you even talking about, Istina? You've been acting off all day. Are you feeling alright?
May
...No, no fever?
Istina
...I'm sorry?
May
A detective's duty is to uncover the truth. The rest is up to the police, of course. She can't play judge, jury, and executioner.
May
Every part of the justice system plays a role. The police, the courts, and detectives like us. Isn't that obvious?
May
What's that face now? Did I say something so shocking?
Istina
Of course I know a detective can't legally convict a criminal.
Istina
I just never expected to hear you talk sense...
May
Hey now! What's that supposed to mean?!
Istina
Nothing. Just talking to myself.
May
Now, given the world we live in, we've got a fair number of people who pass their days killing and killing. Murder may not seem a crime of particularly immediate concern, but we'll set that aside for the moment.
May
It remains our duty, as detectives, to seek out the truth and uphold the law to the best of our abilities.
May
We may not pass judgment. We may not go above the law. We may not exact our own justice.
Istina
......
May
To do harm to others, no matter how we may package it, is an immoral act. The character of such behavior is immutable.
Istina
Indeed. You're right...
May
Whether or not the crime is ever known to others, whether or not judgment is ever passed, the knowledge of the crime lives forever within the criminal.
May
And it is the detective who digs out that truth! Ah ha! Just saying things like that feels so stupendously cool!
Istina
The knowledge of the crime...
Istina
......
Istina
You're right.
Istina
No matter the justification, regardless of whether or not it is known to the world, what's done is done.
Istina
And someday...
Natalya
Oh my, our little chat here has turned rather dour.
Istina
...Sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up.
Natalya
Oh no, it was quite the enlightening discussion to witness. But on the rare occasion we meet again for afternoon tea, let's discuss something a bit lighter.
Istina
Yes. Good idea.
May
The tea's gone cold.
May
Hm? Is that...?
Istina
What is it, May? You stood up just to have something catch your eye?
May
It's, well, see for yourselves. What's that outside the window?
Natalya
Hm? The window? Let me see.
Natalya
Oh, it's... flying? And flying this way.
Natalya
Looks like some sort of drone?
Istina
A drone?
Istina
It is a drone... But what is it doing out here? Actually, I think it's caught on the rigging.
May
Ah! Well, if it's attached to the landship, it can't be a threat, eh? Nothing to worry about then.
Her body wafted back and forth, the breeze blowing her long hair, so clean it clashed with the scene around us. That stark contrast made it seem like the entire episode was nothing but a dream.
???
Pull me up, Anna.
I froze. Silent.
???
...Anna?
With a light touch, the dream slipped away.
No words. No sound. Just a few small marks on my fingertips.